Saturday, May 30, 2009

It all starts with a glance...

... and the next thing I know I'm rearranging furniture...

I can change my entire living room/dining room in less than a few hours. It's kinda nuts. I moved my first sofa when I was seven... little did I know then I would be slinging furniture as a form of therapy for the next leg, or two, of my life.

I've been going through a kind of separation lately; leaving an old version of myself in the compost of recycled stuff. It's not that difficult to do really, it's like math: straightforward, intuitive. The odd thing is, when I look at the equation of my life straight on, my eyes go wiggy and I lose my concentration.

Someone once said to me that I was the most intuitive person they'd ever met; in a dark place I would always find my way home. In some ways I envy the person motivated by the logical brain, there are days when I could surely make use of it in my own life. It's not that I don't live by logic, it's just my own special logic;)

I'm of two minds about my stuff: I love my stuff, my stuff is beautiful, my stuff is a reflection of my interests and an occupation of various kinds, and conversely, all this stuff could burn to ash and I'd never look back, it's just stuff, stuff is a distraction, stuff is not life.

It's a funny thing, living this life. I watched a program on channel 2 the other day about a family that's lived most of their lives on a thirty-three foot boat, sailing the world. One kid born in Australia, one in the U.S., another in Iceland... Thirty years at sea. Something they said struck me deeply... They said if you want to set sail, set a goal, a departure date; everything else in your life will fall into place around it. They said your life will take on a new clarity and reflect your new priority.

So here I am, reconnoitering... sitting on the brink of my life, enjoying a position of freedom and a full vision of myself and my desires. I have complete lateral movement. I choose to be myself, utterly, completely, honestly, openly, without fear. The confusion ends now, I focus my will into the shape of my new life.

I promise, on this day, one year from now, I will have a handle on my next move... the move into a life at sea, away from the staid, torn version I am living now.

Blessed Be.


Lucinda said...

BLESSED BE! And So Be It, my friend. Thanks for sharing in the wildness and laughter the other night. Can't wait to see you again. All my love to you!

JB aka JayBee said...

In the midst of my journeys, I often feel confused and find it difficult to imagine what I was thinking when the journey began.

I wish you clarity, strength and wisdom on your journey of the next year. May you face the changes ahead with beauty, balance, and delight.

Blessed Be!

Grace said...

:) Wowowow....This resonated with me on so many levels.

I'm a "stuff" mover, too! I think I tend to move my outer stuff the most when I can't figure out how to move my inner know what I mean? LOL Most of last month found me arranging, rearranging, purging and adding to my things around the house. It's definitely symbollic....

Your post is so encouraging. I need a "goal" setting moment myself, for setting sail on the next phase of my life. I'm feeling like I'm all tied up in drydock with no place to go, right now.

Thank you so much for sharing this :)

conniewonnie13 said...

Thank You:))) I know it's totally random but this departure date has already made a difference in how I approach things... Suddenly there are ideas where just a few weeks ago I felt stuck in the mud; opportunities where I only felt trapped. It's great! Thank You Lucy and JayBee and Grace(nice to see you again:)) Thank you for being a part of this.

Cosmic Monkey said...

Right on, Connie. I hear what you are saying. New phase, next position, here we go again, or is it new this time? I find it amazing sometimes that when you do set sail toward some place, oftentimes you get there? Or, on a bumper sticker today that Emma liked:"If you don't change your course, you may end up where you are heading...."