I vow here and now not to give in to despair. I will not focus on the negative. Everything has changed in so far as now I know that my friend has cancer. And yet nothing has changed. I still feel a deep love and respect for the complex diversity of all life. I still feel the closeness of my wonderful friend. The profound love we have for each other is still here and always will be. Each moment is the same unknown moment it's always been.